Fellowship Groups

WHAT ARE THEY?

You've likely heard the phrase "You want to go where everybody knows your name" from the theme song of the hit TV series "Cheers". How does this relate to UUCCH? Each of us likes to be known and be called by our name and, more, each of us likes to know and be known enough to be in many friendship relationships at church. However, in growing churches such as ours, as the membership becomes larger, it may be more difficult for us to feel known, loved and a part of the church. It may indeed not be possible to have "everybody know your name". So what do we do?

The small group model existed as far back as the mid-1700s when George de Benneville had a “house church” near Reading, PA. Also, small groups in Rhode Island and the Mid-Atlantic states met in study circles once a week. According to the Rev. Glenn Turner, Minister Emeritus of the UU Community Church of Augusta, ME and currently the UUA’s Small Group Ministry Consultant, modern small group ministry is “based on models in mainstream Protestantism". Some of the more relationally-oriented Unitarian Universalist programs such as Building Your Own Theology and support for 12-step programs have helped many people in coping with their day to day struggles. UU congregations in Brewster, MA and Tulsa, OK were experiencing success in the early 1980s, but small groups became more prominent beginning in the late 1990s when Rev. Calvin Dame of Augusta, ME and Rev. Turner began sharing the success of Small Group Ministries as a means of congregational renewal and reconnection. The June 2004 UU General Assembly featured daily small group sessions for the first time as part of the conference.

WHAT ARE WE DOING AT UUCCH?
Based on the above history as well as input from the UU General Assembly and sensing a need due to our accelerated growth in recent years, in May 2004, we started a Fellowship Group program - our embodiment of the Small Group Ministries approach.

Here are some of the general principles of our program:
• Use the technique of Deep Listening (see below),
• Encourage open expression in a safe atmosphere,
• Promote an attitude of respect, honesty, tolerance and acceptance,
• Allow an attitude of diversity without divisiveness,
• Encourage service to our church and the larger community,
• And especially, welcome new participants.

LOGISTICS
• Deep Listening is the heart of our Fellowship Group experience. The more familiar “active listening” as used in most discussion groups, asks the listener to respond verbally to the speaker after carefully listening to what he/she has said. Deep listening, in contrast, is done in silence, with appreciation for the person expressing his or her view as well as for the idea itself. Rather than seeking agreement or encouraging debate or counter-response, deep listening asks the listener to be silent and reflective, noticing the internal response the idea evokes in the listener and appreciating the diversity of perspectives that are resident in the group. To emphasize this central concept, after each person shares his or her ideas, the group listens silently to the sound of a bell or rain stick. This allows each person to savor the nuances of the verbal gift they have just been offered by the speaker—and the speaker partakes of the gift of attentive and respectful “deep” listening of the group. Our experience to date is that, although it takes some learning, deep listening is very effective.
• Each group is led by a trained facilitator.
• The maximum size of each group is 10 people.
• Each group meets at least once every 4 weeks.
• Each group develops a covenant - ground rules for the group’s relationship and interaction.
• The group meets in our church or in an individual home as it wishes.
• The length of each session will usually be an hour and a half.
• Anyone of age 18 or older is welcome.
• Spouses or partners may or may not join the same group as they wish.
• Each group will always have an empty chair to symbolize openness to welcoming new members with the expectation that new groups will spring from the current groups.

SESSION FORMAT.
• Opening: Welcome and statement of group covenant. May include a ritual such as lighting a candle or chalice.
• Reading: Ties the group to its purpose and to the larger organization.
• Check-in: Each member shares, uninterrupted and as they are willing, something of recent significance in their lives.
• Session topic: The session topic is provided by the Fellowship Groups Team. After the facilitator introduces this topic, each member shares, uninterrupted and as they are willing, what this topic means in their own life. If the group chooses to do so, there may be discussion or questions after everyone has spoken.
• Closing check-out: A brief statement from each member about their impression of the session and/or what they are feeling.
• Closing: This marks the end of the group’s time together. The closing may be a reading, blowing out the candle or chalice, or an activity chosen by the group.

SAMPLE SESSION TOPICS
Although the number of profitable topics is boundless, here are a few samples:
• Living simply in our increasingly complex world.
• Our place in nature.
• Forgiveness in real life.
• People who have touched our lives.
• Sorting out values.
• Taking a stand.

IS THIS FOR YOU?
If this description matches a need you feel, our Task Force governing this Fellowship Group Program can find a group for you. Please call our church office and ask to be put in touch with JoAnn S or Larry S.